I have a beautiful engagement ring. I spend a few good minutes before bed and first thing each morning admiring it. The main stone is so fiery, like a camera flash in the eye. My eyes literally hurt from the light reflecting off the stone when I’m pushing the grocery cart. As I type in the dimly lit living room at one in the morning, the centre stone and 28 accompanying stones around the band glitters and steals my attention every few seconds. As I gesture wildly in the Japanese restaurant or trace the hymn notes with my hand at Mass, I risk blinding myself and my companion momentarily with the sparkle.

I am not obsessed with the ring, as my beloved fiancĂ© or sista might suggest. I just cannot believe I have this ring on my finger. This ring is a symbol of Eli’s love, devotion and fidelity to me, and me to him. This is the ring that the love of my life presented to me when he got on one knee and asked me, “Will you marry me?”

Sometimes I feel like a fake. Like I’m wearing this beautiful engagement ring then I must be worthy of the man who gave it to me. Truth is, I don’t always feel worthy.

I know I want to spend the rest of my life loving and serving Eli. But I often wonder, do I deserve such a wonderful man? Do I deserve to be loved and served by him all the days of his life?

He must believe I am. If not he wouldn’t have gotten his knee dirty asking me, “Will you spend eternity with me?”

He would also not have splurged on a diamond-covered solid platinum band with milgrain and six-prong scroll basket setting that forms six heart-shapes, cradling a Hearts and Arrows diamond.

This is the one band that really captivated me during my months of not-so-secretly perusing engagement rings, but even for spendthrift me, the price tag was too extravagant. I decided I will settle for a solitaire diamond white gold ring. But unbeknowst to me, my beloved had already picked out my dream setting and the ring was already being made before I even realized what my dream setting was. What can I say? We both have great taste!

So I take good care of the engagement ring he gave me. I wear it all the time. Whether I am cooking, doing the dishes, getting my nails done, crafting, sleeping etc. I feel uneasy when the ring is in the next room, in my own house. My sister says this is the price to pay for having an expensive ring. Unfortunately, all the things I do with my hands plus how clumsy I am means the ring gets mucked around quite a bit. I actually scratched it in less than 24 hours of possession! The diamond also gets a little glazed after I get my nails done.

So I clean my ring frequently. My sista thinks it is a sign that I have too much time on my hands. My beloved fiancé is afraid I will loosen the prongs with all that cleaning. I just want to keep the ring looking as sparkly as ever and perhaps proof that I am a worthy owner.