Life is hard. Yes, I have a man who loves me unconditionally. I have God and His army on my side. I have very supportive parents. I have a roof over my head, more clothes than I will ever wear and more than enough good food. And I have these without doing very much at all. I am blessed. But I do also find life very hard.

We all want the very basic in life, and yet it is so difficult to achieve. I don’t think life should be about strategies and yet I find myself discussing strategies with Eli a lot.

I want to trust in God’s divine providence. I do also trust that He has everything good mapped out for me, and I just need to listen. But I am a bad listener, and the noise of this world doesn’t help.

Things are going to be a lot different in the next year. We have some very serious, life altering decisions to make in the next few months. It is a very exciting time, but it also makes you reflect on how challenging life is.

It makes me want to crawl back home to my parents, go back to school and keep failing sixth grade so that I’ll never have to face this cruel world.

But I’m also looking forward to the coming few years because as difficult as life gets, I’ve found the person I want to be with for the rest of my life.

Eli is the one person whom I would willing live in poverty with. He is the one person whom I’ll give up my dream materialistic wedding for because he has truly made me realize that nothing else matters as long as he is the one standing with me at the altar. He is also the one person I’ll have babies with.

Children are not going to happen till later because I’m selfish about sharing Eli with anyone, but imagining little Eli running around drives me wild!

Yes, love makes women do crazy things. This lovely man has made anti-children me into a crazy woman ooohing and ahhhing at his sister’s babies!

Life is hard but when you’ve found the one you love, the one who loves you no matter what, then nothing else really matters.