She’ll change her name today
She’ll make a promise and I’ll give her away

Tears rolled down my cheeks, as I sat in church with my parents by my side witnessing the marriage of a family friend. In ninety-nine days, a hundred family and friends will watch as my daddy walks me down the aisle of an old stone-walled church, and give me away to the man who promises to spend his life striving to love and care for me more than my father ever can. A tall order that a brave young man has undertaken in his three and a half years of passionate pursuit.

I love my groom more than I ever thought I would love. I look forward to eternity with the first and only man to make me want to believe in forever. I will go where he goes. He is my priority and our family will come first.

At the same time, I am failing to put into words what it’s making me feel towards my parents. Why am I crying? I’ll always be the petulant middle child who refuses to eat at hawker centres, throws a tantrum in humidity, get grumpy when not promptly put to bed, and squirm at just about anything. I’ll always be daddy’s little girl.

Only now, I have another man to handle my obnoxious demands.

A Lebanese priest who didn’t yet know I was my sister’s sister, and Eli’s my fiancĂ©, once told my sister, upon hearing that her sister is dating a Lebanese man, to tell her sister to be careful of Lebanese men because they are known for their philandering. My sister told him not to worry because for Eli to be able to tolerate all that I am, he must really love me a lot.

And I have no doubts about it. For all that we’ve been through, and for all the time and distance we have between us today, I never once felt insecure about my position in his life or doubted his faithfulness. I end each day with a great big smile on my face and joy in my heart, as I thank God for the wonderful man who has chosen me as his wife.

As we left the church today, I couldn’t help but think: So this is it? After a year of planning, stressing out and spending big, big money… Guest arrive, sit in church for an hour, eat, shake hands and that is it. The wedding is done. I think I’m a little let down. And it does not help the stage I’m in whereby I just want to get it all over and done with already – and I’m not even the one planning and doing the running around for our big day.