I am spotting a funky tan because I refused to take off my razor-back top while we were at English Bay for eight whole hours this afternoon. I’m not sure if we had the intention of staying for the Celebration of Light but we got a nice spot in front of a big log and Eli went back to the car to pick up the picnic blanket. A polite couple joined us and we had a pleasant afternoon of no-sand-in-face.

We were still doing okay even as the beach got crowded. Unfortunately our beach bliss did not last for long. A group of trying too hard to be cool kids decided to park themselves next to us, right in between two logs and essentially blocking off that “walkway”. Very clever and very considerate, right? I say that with the least sarcasm I can fake, lest I offend more Canadians with my growing intolerance for them and their undeserving reputation.

This group of kids were made up of girls and boys who clearly share boyfriends and girlfriends because they were playing musical chairs on one another. They don’t look like they are even in high school yet, but they were smoking and one of the girls was already drunk – one of her boyfriends pointed that out. There was a particular Korean boy who was chain smoking four cigarettes at a time. He was really trying very hard to be the bad rich boy. Bad reputation boy, more like it; I didn’t see any girl jump onto his lap. Anyway, they bothered me not just with the smoking and spitting but very much so because they blocked off the walkway causing people to step on my mat bringing with them sand and questionable liquid in the process.

I hope I can afford the luxury of not raising my children in this society.

I must however, commend the Vancouver Police who made their presence felt very early in the day, coming around and making people pour out their alcohol. I did also see an officer issuing a ticket to a dude in dreadlocks. He seemed pretty cool with his friends and I have no idea why he got ticketed.

Anyhow, after eight long hours, hundreds and thousands of us spent the next 30 minutes with our nose in the air and mouth hanging open, very pretty sight.

And as soon as the last firework fired, hundreds and thousands of people crowded towards Davie Street. Lucky us, we parked at Davie Street. We thought we could find something to eat while we wait for human traffic to ease, so we walked with the crowd and yet found nothing. Returning to the car, it was quite a challenge backing out of the spot but of course Eli manages it, no problem.

Then some dude starts dancing in front of the car, then gives way to us, then he hops on the back of the car, and because Eli stopped the car, that dude hopped off and swiped his grubby hands on the windows. Very nice.

Traffic out of downtown was killer of course, so we stopped at a Japanese restaurant with really bad service.

I had a great time because I had a great guy with me. But ask my honey if he would do this again, and he would tell you no.