Whether the day was challenging or mundane, what makes you sleep peacefully at night?

Perhaps out of familiarity, we often get complacent and take things for granted. Be it the persons next to us, the grind of daily life or the way things are. It is easy to assume they will always be there.

Unfortunately life isn’t always this way. You could have taken a different route the last two days and today you make that corner and your favorite drink store isn’t there anymore. A sudden sense of disorientation and fear sweeps over. What to do now?

I have had moments like that, and for someone who lacks any sense of direction, it is one heck of a scare.

Routine is something that many complain about but I have no qualms with. I like routine because I fear the unknown. From an early age, once I have been taught to do something in a certain way, you can be sure I will be sticking to that proven method of getting it done. I will not alter or try to “fix it” if it is working perfectly.

My siblings and I had the luxury of our father dropping us off and picking us up from school every single day. Then there came a day, without any consultation with me whatsoever, it was decided that I should start taking the school bus home.

I walked into a wall and didn’t even know it.

Dad came by the school as usual and walked me through the whole process. From my classroom, down the stairs, to the next building, through my sister’s classroom and down to the carpark where all the school buses were waiting.

Okay, I can do this on my own.

And I did! For a couple of days I made it to the bus, got bus-bullied (haha! Who would believe this?) and made it home without crying. I am good with routine.

Then my routine got interrupted. I had left my classroom, made it to the next building and got to my sister’s classroom and WHAT IS GOING ON? This is not suppose to happen! My sister’s classroom was occupied. There was a class going on, and I could not possibly cut through the room to get to the carpark. The rest of it was a little fuzzy.

I believe I was too shy/courteous to cut through the room when class was in session. I vaguely remember trying to calculate how long it would take me to get across to the other side and if I would be able to safely cut across while “the teacher wasn’t looking”. That did not happen. I started crying.

Hiding behind the door and with my little head poking out to look beyond at where I longed to be, I cried.

The teacher stopped class and allowed me to walk across the room (yay! routine!). Unfortunately, the buses had long gone by then. My sister had to take me home that day.

I could have saved myself the tears and saved my sister any trouble and embarrassment if I had been more flexible. How did the other bus-catching students get to the carpark? Surely they had to cut through some other classrooms! I could have done the same. Except, that wasn’t programmed in me. No one had showed me before that that could be done! Cutting through another classroom? Forbidden.

Yep, I wasn’t much of an innovator back then. Still not a big one, but these days I prefer to lead the pack rather than to follow.

Point is, I still get lost if thrown off the familiar course. If I turned the corner and my favorite drink store was gone, my head will spin. And this is because I get used to something and take it for granted that it will always be there, just as I took it for granted that I would always be able to get to the carpark via my sister’s classroom because I’ve done it before and there was never a class going on in there when I needed it.

Similarly, it is easy to take everyday for granted. And I am not talking about living your life to the fullest today because tomorrow might never come. Instead, I am referring to the common occurrence of forgetting to take stock of today.

Whether the day was challenging or mundane, I always go to bed with a smile on my face. And I do not want to take that for granted. More so, I do not want to take the reason why I get to go to bed with joy in my heart, for granted.

No matter how miserable my day had been, being with Eli always puts me back at ease. Dinnertime with Eli is what I look forward to each and every day. Although we are in touch with each other throughout the day, we still make the effort to ask how each other’s day was and anything exciting happened. After dinner, sometimes we catch a movie or play a game, sometimes we work, sometimes we take a walk or a drive, and sometimes we just sit in the presence of each other. Some days we do all of the above.

Everyday I go to bed with a heart brimming with pride and joy, and a big fat smile on my face.

I never want to take any of these for granted.