I do not know how anyone can let their child cry-it-out. Not only is it heart-wrenching to hear your child cry, it is also very dangerous. And no, I’m not talking about long-term emotional damage. I mean, the very real, very present, tomorrow may never come irreversible danger.
Your child could suffocate. He could die. All because you think he should learn to self-soothe.
I’m a baby wearing, baby carrying mom, but there are moments I leave my child alone, on his back, in a safe spot to play on his own. He’d coo and laugh, make up stories in his mind. Those moments allow me to load and unload the washing machine with much ease.
Sometimes my baby starts whimpering. Sometimes he cries. Sometimes he screams. Is he just wanting my attention? Is he upset that I left him alone to go do very reasonable chores?
Well… I always run to him when his coos and laughs go slightly off the norm. I’ve found him with his bib or his blanket over his face. Sometimes he’s actually laughing underneath. He wasn’t crying in distress, rather he’s having a lot of cross-eyed fun. He finds it very amusing. But I am not amused.
If I had ignored his shrieks, passing them off as either “Oh he’s having fun” or “He’s being fussy, he needs to learn to lay there on his own”, my son could have suffocated. He could have died. I would have been the murderer.
Look, I understand that a child needs to learn to be independent. But at what age, and at what cost? I’m not even going to debate how inhumane it is to let a child cry-it-out. This writer has done a fantastic job of it: Just let her cry. Read it.
So yes, I’m an overbearing, self-righteous mama who refuses to let my child “learn” to self-soothe. He’s not going to be “taught” to self-soothe. I believe he’d get there on his own, with full confidence that I’m going to be there when he needs me, and he’d have his space when he needs it.
If more children were given the security that mommy or daddy will always run to them when they call, less of us will grow up to be insecure needy teenagers looking for validation at all the wrong places. Now, that’s a whole other story for another time.